In recent years, it’s become increasingly common for women to reclaim the term “bitch” as a form of empowerment. For some, it’s a way of saying, “I’m strong, independent, and unapologetically myself.” But while this mindset might start with good intentions, it can sometimes turn into an excuse for unkindness, exclusion, or even bullying.
The truth is, there’s a big difference between being assertive and being mean. Let’s talk about why we should leave this mentality behind and how choosing kindness and inclusion can lead to true empowerment.
What True Strength Looks Like
Strength isn’t about how much fear you can instill in others—it’s about how much respect you can earn by lifting people up. There’s nothing wrong with standing your ground or speaking your mind, but when it’s done at the expense of someone else’s dignity, it crosses the line.
Take, for example, the difference between two types of leaders:
• One leads with fear, creating an environment where people feel belittled, judged, or excluded.
• The other leads with empathy and fairness, inspiring loyalty and trust while still maintaining boundaries and authority.
The second leader is far more effective in the long run because they’ve built a foundation of mutual respect, not resentment. That’s what true strength looks like.
The Harm of Exclusion
Exclusion—whether it’s intentional or not—can have devastating effects on those who experience it. Think back to a time when you felt left out. Whether it was in school, at work, or in your personal life, the sting of exclusion can stay with us for years.
When we exclude others to feel superior or as a way to protect ourselves, we’re not solving a problem—we’re creating one. Inclusivity, on the other hand, is the antidote. It says, “You matter, and you belong here.” And when people feel like they belong, they thrive.
Empowerment Isn’t Bullying
Let’s be clear: standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you have to put others down. Bullying—whether it’s through sarcastic comments, gossip, or outright confrontation—might make you feel powerful in the moment, but it ultimately leaves a trail of hurt and broken relationships.
Real empowerment comes from knowing your worth without diminishing someone else’s. It’s about creating a culture where everyone feels respected and valued, not just the people who fit into your idea of what’s acceptable.
The Ripple Effect of Kindness
Kindness has an incredible ripple effect. One small act of inclusion can lead to a chain reaction of positivity. For instance:
• Inviting someone to sit with you in the lunchroom could make them feel seen and valued—and they might pass that kindness on to someone else.
• Offering a supportive word to a colleague could encourage them to do the same for someone else.
These small actions add up, creating a world where people feel supported instead of torn down.
Why Inclusion Matters
Inclusion isn’t just a feel-good buzzword—it’s a fundamental human need. When we create inclusive spaces, we give people the opportunity to bring their whole selves to the table, contributing their unique perspectives and talents.
Imagine a world where everyone felt safe and valued, no matter their background, abilities, or personality. That’s the kind of world we should all strive to create—and it starts with how we treat each other.
Practical Ways to Be Kind and Inclusive
1️⃣ Pause Before Speaking: Before making a sarcastic remark or shutting someone down, take a moment to ask yourself, “Is this necessary? Is this kind? Will it help?”
2️⃣ Challenge Cliques: If you notice yourself or others forming exclusive groups, make an effort to invite new people in. Inclusion starts with small actions like opening up your circle.
3️⃣ Lead by Example: Whether you’re in a position of authority or not, your actions set the tone. Show others that kindness and strength can go hand in hand.
4️⃣ Call Out Bullying: If you witness bullying or exclusion, speak up. You don’t have to be confrontational, but a simple, “Hey, let’s not do that,” can go a long way.
5️⃣ Practice Empathy: Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. How would you feel if you were in their position? Empathy can be a powerful motivator for change.
6️⃣ Celebrate Differences: Instead of seeing someone’s differences as a threat, see them as an opportunity to learn. Diversity makes us stronger.
Redefining Power
Being a “badass” doesn’t mean being feared—it means being respected. It means having the confidence to be kind, the courage to include others, and the wisdom to know that we’re stronger together.
The world doesn’t need more people tearing each other down. It needs people who are brave enough to build each other up. So let’s leave the “bitch” mentality behind and step into a version of ourselves that uplifts, inspires, and includes.
Final Thoughts
We all have the power to make a difference in someone’s life through the choices we make every day. Will you choose kindness? Will you choose inclusion?
Let’s create a world where strength and compassion coexist, where everyone feels they belong, and where kindness is the norm, not the exception.
What will you choose today?
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