Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools for healing, yet it’s often one of the hardest to embrace. When someone has hurt or wronged you deeply, letting go can feel impossible. However, forgiveness isn’t about excusing their behavior—it’s about freeing yourself from the pain and resentment that hold you back.
For me, forgiveness has been an ongoing journey, particularly when it comes to the person who abused me as a child and my mother, who allowed it to happen. These wounds have shaped much of my life, but I’ve learned that holding onto anger and resentment only prolongs the hurt.
Moving forward after forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or reconciling; it’s about reclaiming your peace and making space for healing and hope.
What Forgiveness Is—and What It Isn’t
Forgiveness is:
• A choice to release anger and resentment.
• A way to prioritize your mental and emotional health.
• An act of self-compassion and healing.
Forgiveness isn’t:
• Excusing harmful actions.
• Forgetting or minimizing the pain caused.
• Automatically reconciling with the person who hurt you.
Forgiveness is about freeing yourself, not condoning the wrongdoing.
Why Forgiving Is Essential
Holding onto resentment can have significant impacts:
• Emotional weight: Anger and bitterness consume energy and joy.
• Physical health: Chronic stress from unresolved emotions can lead to health issues.
• Blocked growth: Focusing on the past makes it harder to embrace the present and future.
By forgiving, you give yourself permission to heal and grow.
Steps I’ve Taken on My Forgiveness Journey
1. Acknowledging My Pain
The first step in my journey was allowing myself to fully feel and acknowledge the pain caused by my abuser and my mother’s failure to protect me. I had to stop minimizing my experiences and validate the hurt I carried for so long.
2. Understanding the Impact
I spent time reflecting on how these experiences shaped my self-esteem, relationships, and mental health. This wasn’t about blaming anyone—it was about understanding where my pain came from so I could begin to address it.
3. Separating the People from the Actions
One of the hardest parts of forgiveness has been separating my abuser and my mother from their actions. I’ve worked to understand that their choices, while deeply harmful, stemmed from their own brokenness. Recognizing this has helped me release some of the personal blame I carried.
4. Choosing Forgiveness for Myself
Forgiveness is a choice I continue to make—not for them, but for me. I’ve realized that holding onto resentment only keeps me tied to the pain they caused. Letting go doesn’t mean I excuse what happened; it means I refuse to let it define my future.
5. Setting Boundaries
In forgiving, I’ve also set firm boundaries. I’ve chosen to distance myself from certain relationships to protect my peace and well-being. Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the same hurt to happen again.
6. Focusing on Healing and Growth
I’ve redirected my energy toward healing and building a life filled with love, purpose, and resilience. I’ve sought therapy, connected with supportive people, and found strength in sharing my story to help others.
Moving Forward Without Forgetting
Forgiveness doesn’t erase the past, but it does change how I carry it. I’ll never forget what happened, but I’ve learned to reclaim my power and write a new chapter for myself. I may never fully understand my abuser’s or my mother’s choices, but I can control how I respond to the pain they caused.
Final Thoughts
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. By letting go of resentment, you break free from the chains of the past and open the door to peace and possibility. Moving forward isn’t about forgetting the hurt but about reclaiming your power and choosing a brighter future.
If you’re on a similar journey, know that you’re not alone. Forgiveness takes time, patience, and courage, but it’s worth it.
Have you experienced the power of forgiveness? Share your thoughts or journey in the comments below—we’d love to hear your story.
Add comment
Comments