I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and honestly, I have mixed feelings about the state of the world. I don’t have all the answers, but what I do know is that this country feels more divided than ever. I see hatred coming from people I never expected. I see people clinging to their biases instead of questioning them. And I see white privilege more clearly than ever before.
As a white man, I could keep my head down and focus on my own life. It would be easy. But as a white trans man, I know that staying silent means ignoring the struggles of people with disabilities, those facing mental health challenges, and the LGBTQ+ community. It means ignoring the realities of racism and injustice. And that’s not something I’m willing to do.
The Challenge of Unlearning Bias
I get it—many of us were raised to think a certain way. We were taught things as absolute truths, only to later realize they were shaped by incomplete narratives, fear, or outright misinformation. It’s uncomfortable to challenge our beliefs, especially when they’ve been ingrained in us for years. But if we want to be better, we have to be willing to examine where our biases come from.
If you’re always surrounded by people who tear others down—whether based on race, gender, sexuality, disability, or economic status—it’s only a matter of time before those ideas start shaping your worldview. And once they do, you may not even realize how they influence your thoughts, actions, and decisions.
So here’s my challenge, especially to those who are white, cis, straight, middle class, or above:
Ask Yourself These Questions
• When you see a person of a different skin color, what’s your first thought?
• When you see someone who is LGBTQ+, what assumptions do you make?
• When you hear about immigration, do you think of families, or do you just see a political talking point?
• Do you assume a Black or Brown person is “up to no good” when you see them in your neighborhood?
• Have you ever said, “I don’t see color,” instead of acknowledging the real differences in how people are treated?
• Have you ever dismissed someone’s experience with racism or discrimination because it made you uncomfortable?
• Do you believe everyone has the same opportunities, or do you acknowledge that generational wealth, systemic racism, and discrimination create barriers?
• Do you think of disabled people as full, capable individuals, or do you pity them?
• Have you ever thought someone was “just lazy” when they couldn’t work due to mental illness or disability?
• Have you ever minimized a trans person’s existence by saying things like, “I just don’t get it” or “It’s too much”?
• Have you ever said, “I support gay people, just not when they shove it in my face,” while failing to recognize that straight people’s relationships are constantly normalized?
• Do you believe the police always act in good faith, despite years of evidence showing racial disparities in policing?
Be Honest With Yourself
These questions aren’t meant to shame or attack anyone. They’re meant to make you reflect. Because if your first instinct is to get defensive, ask yourself why. Why does it bother you to examine your beliefs? Why does questioning privilege make you uncomfortable?
The truth is, privilege doesn’t mean your life has been easy—it just means your race, gender, ability, or orientation hasn’t made it harder. The system is built in your favor, whether you realize it or not. Acknowledging that isn’t an attack on you—it’s a step toward making things better for everyone.
So, How Do We Change?
It’s not enough to simply recognize privilege. We have to actively work to challenge it and create change. Here’s how you can start:
1. Listen to People From Marginalized Communities
Follow and learn from Black voices, LGBTQ+ voices, disabled activists, and others with lived experiences different from your own. Social media, books, podcasts, and documentaries can be powerful tools for learning.
2. Challenge Your Own Thoughts
When you catch yourself making an assumption, stop and ask, Why do I think this? Where did I learn it? Is it actually true?
3. Speak Up
If you see racism, ableism, homophobia, or transphobia—especially in your own circles—call it out. Silence is complicity. You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to be willing to stand up for what’s right.
4. Educate Yourself
Read books, watch documentaries, and engage with media that challenge your worldview. The burden of explaining systemic oppression shouldn’t always fall on marginalized people. Do the work.
5. Acknowledge Privilege Without Getting Defensive
When someone talks about their struggles, resist the urge to say, “But I had it hard too!” Different struggles exist, and acknowledging privilege doesn’t take away from your personal hardships. It just means certain aspects of your identity haven’t made things harder for you.
6. Support Policies That Promote Equity
It’s one thing to say you care—it’s another to vote and advocate for real change. Support policies that address systemic injustice.
7. Empathize Before You Judge
When someone shares their experiences with discrimination, don’t dismiss them. Believe them. It’s not about whether you have experienced it—it’s about recognizing that they have.
Are You Willing to Do the Work?
This isn’t about being “woke” or trying to be perfect—it’s about choosing to grow, to learn, and to be a better human being. If that makes some people uncomfortable, maybe that discomfort is a sign that something needs to change.
The question is—are you willing to do the work?
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